Why do we think the way that we do and is it really better than other types of thinking? When I was a kid, I most definitely thought I was surrounding a lot of very stupid people. Many things that made sense to me or that I could figure out myself, others struggled with. Simultaneously, I struggled in school because I felt like it was a waste of time. Does that make me intelligent or arrogant?
Intelligence is a complicated subject but especially so for INTPs because our logic and intelligence is likely the highest sense of value for us. We value ourselves through logic, so it's easy to want to value others for it as well. I know that's the case for me, at least. I love how I think and can become very frustrated when others can't keep up. But are we really covering every level of intelligence out there? Where do we fall short? How can we learn from other types of people with different variaties of intelligence?
truth vs. Truth
In 2016, during the United States presidential election, I personally ran into a lot of issues and conflict with people I loved who I deemed to be quite stupid for their political and personal choices. If you were on the internet around that time then you likely know what I'm talking about. Internet conflict seemed to be at an all-time high and I felt like I was at the center of it.
NTPs can get the label of "Troll" because we're constantly poking at people's intelligence. We feel that our truth is the only truth and everyone else is an idiot but I think many of us know that deep down what we're searching for is love and connection. We love being challenged and because of that we're very willing to challenge others.
In 2016, I was going through a difficult time in my life and seeking conflict was my way of seeking connection. But I kept missing the target and simply alienating people. So, that begs the question, how can we be ourselves, challenge people, challenge ourselves and still seek connection the way that we do? How can we have meaningful conversations without scaring someone off? How can we consider and question the validity of our own ideas before we pump them out as unshakable truth?
I know as an INTP that I can very much get locked into my mind and the way that I think. My truth is THE TRUTH. Not only that but at times I feel like I have everything I need. Why would I need to learn anything else? Not just learn but learn from people.
How many every day things do we ask questions about? Why did that person do that thing? What are some of the patterns in my thinking and in my life that have led to this moment?
Now it's easy to ask questions of the outside world, but how and in what ways can we keep asking difficult questions of ourselves to keep growing?
Humility and Personal Responsibility
I didn't do well in school because I thought I was the smartest kid in class. I often didn't challenge myself because I felt like I knew everything I needed to know. I didn't go after things because I felt they should come to me. I didn't take care of my outside world because my inner world is all that mattered to me.
You can imagine how that worked out when I needed a job and wanted a romantic partner in my life. Those things don't really take to my personal sense of intelligence very well at times. And the world doesn't stand much for know-it-alls.
Practicality and responsibility were not high on the priority list for me. I wanted to do thought experiments and play in the clouds. And while all of this Si-Fe nonsense can go kick rocks, how do we give it proper consideration to get those things we want? To be respected by peers and loved ones? To be successful and make a living doing what we love?
Comparison to Society and Mentors
I personally love competition. There's something about proving that you've got what it takes to win that is really exciting. And I think there's something about the INTP personality that wants to always be better than we were the day before. I think that's why we take to video games quite easily. We adapt to a new set of rules of reality and challenge ourselves in our adaptable intelligence. We can be the rulers of intuitive thinking.
In reality, however, that can be a bigger challenge. I've come across numerous situations in which who I am isn't the best tool for the job. That brings out all sorts of feelings of shame, embarrassment, doubt, insecurity and ultimately, comparison. In our minds, we only have ourselves to compete with. In the outside world, well, there's everyone else. How can we convert comparison into a positive tool for growth? Is competition healthy for INTPs? Are we doomed to always feel lesser when it comes to reality?
Joy and Opportunity
Joy is not a word many INTPs would naturally associate with themselves, but if you search your own history you'll likely find moments in which you've experienced elation beyond your control. Joy is the art of letting go and art that we're capable of experience integrated into our every day life. Through joy, we open ourselves up to possibility and through possibility we come across some of the great a-ha moments that could change our lives. Joy can require bravery, it requires will, and since it's our opposite attitude of extroversion for us, it needs to be intentional.
How can we get the most out of joy? How can we be sure that an opportunity is the right opportunity? Is Ne the same as just making mistakes and not making decisions? How do we utilize this function without letting it control us?
Gamifying Growth and Self-Care
Video games have been a consistent through-line in my life. From 3-years-old I was sitting on the arm of my parents couch playing Super Mario Brothers for the first time and I was absolutely hooked. I played over and over as I learned the mechanics of the game learned about jumping on Goomba after Goomba and discovering that mushrooms were delicious and helped you grow. I racked up points as I completed levels and discovered new exciting secrets in the process. There were challenges, enemies, and personal rewards as I pushed myself every day to get further than I did the day before.
How is any of that different than real life? Why can't we use that in our daily lives to manage our health? Create a solid routine for ourselves? And always pushing ourselves to the next level? Instead of relying on vague articles about getting out more, let's look at how we can turn our love for feedback, points, achievement and competition to help ourselves grow to tackle new foes.
Fear and Establishing Boundaries
A desire for a sense of safety is built conveniently into our personality, so if we haven't developed a willingness to adventure, that desire for safety can grab hold of us and keep us locked into our own inner world. We do the same things every day, often avoid people, and trying anything new seems like the worst thing in the world. And often those feelings are coming from our desire for safety playing nice with our internal logic. Again, it's that feeling of "I have everything I need, I'm fine." but is that healthy for us? How can subvert fear and try new things? And once we try those new things, are we allowed to set boundaries on those things if they don't serve us? How does Si play a role in our development and Cosmic Calibration?
Getting Things Done
INTPs get a bad rap for not being productive members of society. I don't know why this is the case because there are INTPs who have created monumental changes on reality. The internet is very much an INTP mechanism. Einstein and Isaac Newton changed our perception of reality. Google was co-created by INTPs. Now, I don't want to intimidate you or make you feel like you have to live up to that monumental potential but you are absolutely capable of having that significant impact on your slice of reality but one key factor is needed to make that happen...hard work.
Getting it done or doing what needs to be done is a strength that INTPs need to develop if you intend to contribute to reality. The trope is that we start a million projects and never get anything done. Well, we're here to change that perception with some discussion on how to get hard work done.
Emotional Safe Space and Holding Space
Emotions and INTPs have been talked about as if they're oil and water for us, as if they just don't mix. Well, I think this whole time we've been talking about emotional things in relation to the INTP experience, so that's definitely not true. We have the capacity to value emotional experiences but depending on our life experience we may have seen emotions as a burden.
For me, my emotional ineligence as been a repeated challenge in my life. It's the reason I began learning about Myers-Briggs in the first place. I was completely lost in the ways of women and understanding what other people wanted from me. I didn't even understand my own emotional experience much. Why did I even need it? Well, I assure you, you're expressing emotion every single day but doing it in the way that we know how, our native language, logic.
Small Talk and Finding the Moment
I remember being a kid meeting all sorts of people I didn't know and my parents would be bugging me to say hello and ask how someone is doing. I didn't understand why and I don't think they understood why. It's just something people do. It took a while for me to come across people in life who wanted to jump into deeper conversation but for the longest time I was just lost. Why do I need this? Why are people just asking the same questions over and over again?
Small talk leaves a bad taste in many people's mouths, not just INTPs and not even just intuitives. I don't think anyone actually wants to have small talk but there are evolutionary reason why we might not want to tell our deepest darkest secrets to strangers every day. So, why do this dance? Why does it matter? How it helpful to us? How can it help us learn to be more present and find the ultimate sense of connection?
Finding Your Tribe
Humans are social creatures. Even the most introverted of people feel that pull to have at least one person in their lives. It doesn't have to be a romantic connection but it has to be connective. What is connection? What does deep connection look like? What does it require from us and others?
I've played video games my whole life and that's often a connecting point for me. Typology is very much a connecting point. I've also played poker for quite some time. Each had a community and elements that allowed for intimate connection on a topic.
This is the opportunity to really get connected to who we are and use that as a Kamehameha of concentrated force to put creativity back into existence. How do we connect to ideas like energy, wavelengths, frequencies, connections, and the universe without selling it short with our own limits?
We've assembled all of the pieces that we need to consider our growth path and put our best foot forward. How does that all culminate into creative action? How can we make our mark on life and be significant while also appreciated how small we are? How do we achieve Cosmic Calibration?
StartCosmic Calibration (45:49)
StartA World Not Built for Us
Starttruth vs. Truth
StartHumility and Personal Responsibility
StartComparison to Society and Mentors
StartJoy and Opportunity
StartRemaining segments are in-progress. 15 total segments are planned.
I've always had a natural ability and drive to create and sell. When I was in 4th grade I would put "Kidz Enterprizes" on the back of my book reports. In 7th grade, I would print out Pokemon screenshots of the PokeRap and sell them to my friends. As a teenager, I would sell bottled water at local events and do anything I could to make my own way. My parents owned their own advertising agency, which is where I officially got my start professionally.
I've since work in TV, Film Marketing, local businesses, and now working one-on-one with freelancers and entrepreneurs who want to fully embrace who they are in their business lives. As a creative consultant, I share my own triumphs and difficulties with tips and tricks to navigate tools, mindset and expanding creativity in a way that suits your personality.
This is where I stand today, sharing the stories of everything I've learned and harnessing them into courses, podcasts and videos to help others realize that if they allow themselves to be themselves, they can level-up their reality in no-time.
Being a nerd comes with it's own challenges growing up. I'm also an intense introvert with a propensity to favor thinking over emotions. It's been quite a challenge to connect with people based solely on my personality. I've had to develop who I am not simply just be the default version of myself that has had past difficulty connecting with others. I also have cyclothymia, a low-grade bipolar disorder, and ADHD, which present challenges in working for strict businesses and subvert common expectations. I've had to learn to set my own boundaries.
I know there are others out there with similar adversities that don't allow them to fit into the common mold so easily. For some of us, the dream to build a life of our own is a matter of it being the only possibility.
Not only that but there are plenty of people who simply want more out of life. We want to not struggle every day to pay the bills, student loans and fear that we can't pay for the next hospital visit. We want to create life on our terms and do it without sacrificing who we are.
Frankly, I teach that leaning into who we are is the quickest way to focus on what we have to offer, how we can present that, who we can connect to and how can we best serve those people.
We're all capable of love, we're all worthy of success, but it's not a guarantee. We have to take the steps towards making that happen, to put in the work. So, let's take a look, break it all down and build you back up again.